Men suck, Feminism & LGBT vs Religion

May 22, 2020 - 22:16:00 UTC

Trigger Warnings: Rape, Abuse, Misandry, Homophobia, Politics, Religion

Description: My thoughts about men and issues with them. Also some rambling about Feminism, Religion and LGBT things. Also some sexuality stuff.

After writing  this, I realized I went really off track on some points and didn't  conclude as I wanted. But I don't want to  rewrite everything/parts. So I'll just keep it.

 

 

I thought about what would fit as an headline for this topic.

And I honestly think I found a pretty good one.

 

I really hope that reading the title of this post made you angry.

"Men suck". What? That's a pretty bold generalization. What a stupid SJW snowflake opinion.

I chose this title cause I have issues with men and I see many people that also went trough abuse/rape or other similar issues with men who start to then resent and generalize  all men as "pigs, rapists and white cis male supremacists".

 

Let me clear something right at the start: I agree but I also disagree.

 

I think in general, how our world works, men have the  most power. Abuse it the most. And statistics show that men are the most criminal. Also the most people that perform rape or abuse are male identified.

But also... Women do the same.

There are female criminals. Female rapists and abuser. They might be less, yeah. But claiming we as  woman never perform these actions is... just delusional and in bad  faith.

I'm honestly sick of arguments that "Women are to weak to  rape a man." or "Women never have power over a man". Give me a break.

If you're a feminist and think like that, you don't see us as equal, you push something that the media will take and spin as  "All feminists are misandriests !".

But..... here is the catch.

I hate men.

I can't stand being near one  alone. And even if I'm not alone with them, I want them gone and far far away.

I fear them. I'm really really scared of them.

 

But I know  where this comes  from, that it is illogical and bad to think like that. I'm aware of this flaw of mine.

I just  can't change it, it comes from my abuse and rape. If I see a man, he scares me just by existing. He doesn't have to do  anything. No matter how  nice he would be, I'd  suspect him to harm me or even more bad things if he gets the chance.

And this is bad. Really bad. But as I said. I'm aware. I just live with that. Trust me I tried therapy about it. This is why I'm  even so aware of this issue. I can't get over it at all.

And I suspect it would be illogical too. I did Martial arts for over 10 years with my SO.  Even nowadays I keep myself very fit. Not really cause of the  whole "defend yourself"  thing. I don't go out anyways.  So it would be a waste. More of a health and beauty thing.(Your self image tends to really tank when you got abused, I feel like I try to keep myself as fit and feminine as possible for my own self image and my fear that my SO wouldn't like me  anymore if I  wouldn't be that way.)

Anyways, I think if it came down, as long as he wouldn't be overly trained too, which come on... how  many people have time and  motivation to  keep  fit... I think I  probably could defend myself.

But even in knowing  that right now, in  a situation  where I'm with a man,  that all becomes null. I feel weak. Powerless. Just like a child again with a man so powerful he could probably strangle me with 1 hand.

And that's why I "hate" men. Cause they make  me feel this way.

 

It's not the random guys  fault that  I see on the street that I hate  him. But I just do.

In real life, would I be around a man, I couldn't stand it. I had situations were I pointlessly broke down.

And goddamn is it just so...insanely painful to feel that way.  Especially if you're aware outside of these situations that this thinking is wrong.

But our mind isn't always easily controlled.

 

In comparison to that, I have no issue with men online. Doesn't really matter what gender someone is online. I don't see them. Someone could tell me they're  the manliest man to ever man, and I wouldn't really care. As long  as I don't have to see them.

It's masculinity that scares me. Male behavior irl. Or how they look.

Online you don't notice these things besides some certain edge case.

Men tend to be, IMO, way edgier online. The most hateful, edgy, dark humor "I  don't give  a fuck little  snowflake" people I've met are men.

But hey, a lot of online spaces are male dominated.

And females can be toxic as hell too.

 


 

But all in all, I just kinda wanted  to  explain my  view on men as a group.

I'm a feminist. I still believe men have issues too. Men mostly never get proper mental healthcare. Men tend to not  get a lot of compassion or compliments.(Compliments can fucking  suck tho, trust me.) Male abuse victims or survivors of rape get way less recognition, support or understanding than women do.

 

I've been to some specialized women mental  health clinics. They focus on people with trauma like mine. You tend to stay  there for a few weeks. You can come back, all that jazz. But good luck finding that as a man.

 

I just want to be clear that I despise men,  but not in a  way of that I think they're really all evil... just... That I think they're all evil. What a paradox. 

It's honestly hard to explain. And even with all my positive talk  about how I think men deserve  more help and so on.

I can't stop thinking about the fact that most men I ever met were really somehow unlikable. I don't get it. Most men tend to be very fragile in their masculinity. And have to prove it in one or the other way, all the time.

I can also not dismiss what I said at the start. Most rape cases have Men attacking woman.

This is reality. No matter what country you live in.

And the sad part, the dark  number is  way higher.

 


 

Rape gets way  less reported than it should. Thanks to cultural changes and the "false accuser fear mongering".

 

I can't say I had the same. I was a child. And endured it for years. I thought if I say  anything my parents would be mad at me(Oh the irony...). I feared they wouldn't believe me. I feared  that if I say something I'd do something wrong by  doing so. A  lot of it was  manipulation on his part. But a lot was just not  knowing what to do. Cause even tho child abuse and the like are a reality, and the  numbers are way  too high, any "advice" what to do as a child is not really there.

I didn't out anything myself. It was someone else  noticing it, after seeing scares on my arms and another failed suicide attempt.

You'd  think people payed more attention to a  young girl trying  to kill herself multiple times.

And I did receive attention. But I was way  way  way to scared. And they didn't  ask the right things. They didn't notice the signs. I don't know if I should blame them or not.

 

But that's just how it is. A lot of times as a victim, you have a hard time actually doing something about what happend to you.

 


 

Alright. I also wanted to touch up some other topics.

Feminism for example.

I'm a feminist. I  still believe  women  face oppression and discrimination daily no matter what country  they live in. Be it that we're often valued by our looks or that women in certain science or job fields get treated as incompetent or lesser than their male peers.

Yes. I know.  This  doesn't fit everyone. I'm sure you/somebody you know  might be a very strong  and tough woman who is respected by  her peers and is outstandingly applauded by the community.

These are outliers.

I've seen it enough of times. You can read it on the news or if you just listen to some  women working in a male dominated industry.

It fucking sucks.

Then you have the all mighty, heavily debated pay gap. Don't even want  to get into it.

 

But what made me really a feminist is me being part of the LGBT.

 

I never cared that much  about feminism until maybe... 3 years ago?

What brought me to a boil was, being a lesbian fucking sucks.

Me and my SO are both very feminine, fit girls. Can you imagine if we dare to kiss in public or gasp HOLD HANDS????

Ugh.

I just want to do what every normal couple is able to do. Go out with my SO, hold hands, share a short kiss without men looking at us like we're about to start a porno.

Or religious people judging us.

I hate  it. Gay men get treated like they're lesser humans. As if they were disgusting or  wrong. Less of a man.

And lesbians are sex objects. Even more so than women are already. We're like the  glorified sexy fantasy of a lot of men. Don't believe me? Several porn sites publish their yearly top categories. Guess what's  always at the top or close to it?

 

And it translates into real life too. Trust me. It shows.

We even had teenagers yell  and whistle at us to kiss  and make out. 

We were just walking by holding hands....

 

But even more  so than that is that I hate how religious people sometimes act  towards it.

 

Listen. You're free to  believe what  you want. If religion helps you or is a important part of your life, that's fine.

What I don't understand is why you have to make me part of your religion, telling me I'm sinning, that I'm doing something wrong. I'm not demanding anything of you. I only  want to get treated with dignity and respect, just as you want me to do the same for you.

But if you just judge me for my sexuality, you're not doing that.

Which was always  such a weird  thing for me.

Why is religion a protected thing? Why does it play such a huge role in laws and politics?

I know why, I just don't understand it.

Religion is not more important that feminism. Or the LGBT movement.

You don't deserve special rights.

The best example is marriage. Marriage  in most countries isn't just a religious thing.

It gives you benefits and access to certain things.

Tax benefits are pretty normal. But then, what about rights to visit your SO in cases of an emergency?

Or  making medical calls for them?

There's a lot of things still locked  behind marriage in  a lot of countries.

So you can't say it should be protected  to only be between a man and a woman cause religion says so.

Either stop giving marriage benefits or make marriage accessible for everyone. And no, so called  partnership contracts or whatever are  not the same.  They often don't get you the same rights and benefits.

 


 

I also wanted to clarify something. I said I fear and "hate" men. I'm  willing to bet  some ill person would spin this  against trans people, in particular trans woman.

I really don't want to  say more to that than: No. As long as they  don't give of the vibe of being a male(Which most don't) I see them as equal woman.

Heck, I'd date them if I  wasn't married "happily". Just putting that in quotes cause I'm  far from happy, but my relationship is not the reason for that, obviously.

 

...I honestly had some other stuff I wanted to write about, but I feel like I lost  myself so  much already in my writing  and I wrote so much... I'll keep that for next time.

 

I  hope this was understandable. And I hope that people do understand that I don't really hate  men. Just that I have a very  negative bias IRL cause of my past. I'm  for equal rights  for them. Just like I said with access to  mental  health or supporting them as  victims of abuse.

 

-Ayumi

 

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